Kidnapping Made Really Fun
by OllyHollyWolly
Summary: KittyChan has her friends over her house. Along as some other peoplethe kidnapped fruits basket cast! really funny,1st fanficy,please be gentle![HIATUS]
1. Smarties and Got Boys?

Once upon a manga book, there was a cast of Fruits Basket. In Fruits Basket, there were people. Some slightly nicer than others (cough, Kyo, cough). ahem. As I was saying, people were in Fruits Basket, but there were also the people outside, the people who were reading Fruits Basket. Some people on the outside were, how shall I put it? Slightly obsessed about certain characters of the manga, like me. Now, just because my nickname is Kitty-Chan, doesn't automatically mean that I like Kyo. (It just means that I'm just as crazy and violent as he is, that's all). No sire! I had my eyes fixed onto two unsuspecting men already……..

At the Sohma's house, 11 PM Friday night 

Kyo was curled up into a ball sleeping in a corner due to the whole 'it's raining' factor, Yuki was asleep ontop of a Haru, who was sleeping over at the time, Shigure and Ayame were sleeping on the couch after watching some crappy movie, Aktio was in Shigure's bed for the fact that I want him to be, and Tohru was finishing up cleaning the kitchen (yes, I'll make her clean the kitchen if I want at 11 in the night!). While they were doing all that good shit, I was doing even better shit of my own.

At Kitty-Chan's House, same time, same night

"Yes, get over, my house right now!" Short pause. "I don't care if you have to kill your one or both of your parents to get here, just do it!" Hangs up. Calls back. "And bring smarties with you, we're gonna need them to make it through this..." Hangs up for real.

"Oh, smarties? You really don't think we're actually gonna need to take those, now do you Kitty?" "Ducky, you have no idea how much fun this is actually going to be once Cowie-Dono and Momiji get here. I'm gonna take it up to myself to have the most fun of all of us with our new play toys. Hehehe." Goes over and runs her nails down the cheeks of two of the sleeping Fruits Basket boys, who are (as of right now, that is) huddled in a corner of Kitty's bedroom, sleeping.

At Kitty's house, 12:30 AM, next early morning

DING-DONG. Short, impatient pause. DING-DONG, DING-DONG, DING-DONG, DING-DONG, DING-DONG, DING-DONG, DING-DONG, DING-DONG!

"So, they've been out there ringing the doorbell for about an hour now, should we let them in?" Ducky asks, taking her hands off her ears, annoyed with having to hear DING-DONG for the past 3,600 seconds of her short-lived life. "I guess so, I mean, we don't want to wake the boy toys up, and I'm kinda annoyed with the whole DING-DONG sound affect going on. Or we could just unplug the doorbell and get some sleep, all the while leaving them out there to freeze, and have beef in the morning….." Kitty then started to day (or night) dream about what she would do with the beef in the morning. "mmm, we could have hamburgers, and steak, and ribs, and oh- hamburger helper….." "Or we could just let them in and get high off of snorting smarties, but hey, it's your choice…." Ducky chimed in. Kitty's eyes bulged open. "GET THE DOOR, HURRY, THE SMARTIES MIGHT BE IN PAIN FROM THE COLD!" Ducky just rolled her eyes and ran for the door as fast as she could, with Kitty trailing shortly behind her.

When Ducky opened the door, she was greeted with two pretty pissed-looking faces. It wasn't pretty when Cowie-Dono started to yell, either. "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU TO BEEN! MAKING OUT! Wait, don't answer that. WE WERE STANDING OUTSIDE FOR THE PAST HOUR WAITING FOR YOU TO IDIOTS TO OPEN UP THE FRICKEN DOOR FOR US! IF YOU WOULD'VE WAITED A MINUTE LONGER, I WOULD'VE KNOCKED THE DOOR DOWN, AND MADE MY WAY IN!" Then her eye started to twitch, which was just plain creepy.

At Kitty's house, 1:00 AM, same morning

Only after they were let in, the smarties were made sure they weren't in pain of any way, shape, or form, which took awhile because Kitty and Ducky had to hand inspected each one, did some real fun begin.

"Ah, I think it's about time to snort the smarties, now, doesn't everyone agree?" cued Kitty. Ducky was the first one to answer, "Hells ya!" Cowie-Dono hesitantly agreed, and Momiji just said "no-thanks." But, well, we all knew that Momiji wasn't gonna get out of the fun, so we all pinned her to the ground. Cowie was on the bottom, holding down most of Momiji's weight, Ducky was in the middle, but still on Momiji, making sure she couldn't move her body or her head. And Kitty was on the top getting, the smarties ready to be snorted. Just as Kitty was about to shove the smarties inside Momiji's right nostril, the front door to the house burst open. At the door, was Kitty's 17-year old brother, Roland. And man, let me tell you, the look on his face was _priceless_.

Inside her head, Momiji was thinking, 'I think I love you. You just saved my right nostril. Thank you ever so much!'

Kitty just looked up at her brother and went, "What the hell, are you doing home? I thought you were going to be out all night playing poker with your friends!" Rolanda just kinda stared at us for a minute, wondering what's going on, and then finally answered, "I am, it's just that I forgot the alcohol- it's my night, god don't fuck a cow or anything!" Kitty and Cowie quickly exchanged smirked glances at each other. Momiji piped in," Ya, know, the last time I checked, alcohol was illegal in New York for people under 21…" Rolanda defended himself, "Ya, well the last time I checked, snorting smarties wasn't all that healthy for you." Kitty, Ducky, and Cowie just stood there and made faces at Rolanda like 'I'm gonna gut you' or 'I'm gonna kill you.In your sleep.With a very large knife.' Until Rolanda got the alcohol he needed and slammed the front door closed.

At Kitty's house, 2:30 AM, same morning

After finally finishing what the three girls were doing to poor Momiji's right and left nostril, they were way beyond sugar high. That's when Ducky gave the idea to bind and gag the boys so when they wake up they can't move or try and wake the others. Somewhere along the line, makeup got involved, as did the boy's dignity. All of the boys, including Akito, had enough makeup on to look like an ugly prostitute. But of course the girls got pictures of it as blackmail against the boy toys. Just after the pictures were taken, all of the girls were standing in front of the guys, admiring their work. Out of nowhere, Haru's eyes flicked open slowly. The girls watched even more intently. This was going to be great. Haru's eyes popped open as big as saucers when he found out he didn't know where he was, let alone why he was bound, gagged, and had makeup on for.

"Wherv da fcuk av i!" Haru tried to yell through his gag. Kitty took this as her cue, "you, my hot friend, are now in my world……….."


	2. Skittles and Battle Of The Vicious Room

A/N: Hello, peoples! Kitty-Chan is back for round two! Takes a bow. First thing-I just noticed that my mom reads some pretty interesting books. First of all, there's I'm Watching You, which kinda freaks me out because they'res this really huge and ugly eye on the cover that's just kinda staring at you. The second book is the one I like better. It's called: High On A Hill. And I don't think they're talking about elevation there, if you know what I'm talking about-Ohohohohohoho! (Snorts more skittles-lol) Oh ya, someone reviewed and said that Momiji is a guy. I know that. The Momiji I'm talking about is my friend. I'm sorry for the mix-up. Well, I have my skittles and My Chemical Romance blasting, so let's begin, shall we? Yes, yes we will.

Kitty's house, 2:00AM, same morning

The girls smiled very evilly as they watched Haru. "Wherv da vuck vam I!" Haru restated. He just sounded so funny. Like a little German. Like the wine. The girls laughed, but of course. "Hey, we have some pizza cooking, would you like a piece? I can even feed it to you, if you want me to!" Haru inquired, winking when she was done. "Hey! I called dibs on him first!" Kitty said. "No-I did!" Ducky piped in. Momiji just stood there and shook her head with disgust at the whole thing. While all the girls yelled, screamed, scratched, and had girly fights with one another, and Momiji busy trying to pry everyone of each other (ohohohoho!), Haru quickly got his hands untied. When he was done, he just stood there and waited for the perfect moment to make his getaway with. Then he thought of Yuki. "I can't leave him here. He's sure to be molested or raped by one or more of these girls. Plus, if I save him, maybe he'll reward my with something special, like his virginity or something along those lines. Yeah, his virginity would make a great reward. If only I could place it above my mantle…hehehehehe." The girls just stopped what they were doing and stared at Haru, some with disgust, like Momiji, others with confusion, like Cowie and Ducky, and others with pride, like Kitty. "He's my hero! He loves sexual things, JUST LIKE ME!" Kitty cheered. Haru kinda just realized that out loud, "whoppies?" he just said. Yuki started to stir. His eyes flicked open. "Wherv the vuck vam vi!" he screeched. "This is going to be one long……...morning. I'm gonna go get the hard stuff, make sure they don't move or no good shit for you!" Kitty said with boredom coming from her voice. Ducky suddenly perked up, "You're gonna go get the skittles? Already? I thought at least you'd wait until 8 until you brought that hard of stuff down here….." "Yeah, well I need the finer, higher quality of Skittles of get high off of right now….don't tell those guys anything while I'm gone. We'll just explain it once they all wake up. But we'll have the most fun with the last person who wakes up, though…" Kitty stated in a very determined voice. Momiji was now curious, "You make it sound like in order to get to your room, it's like a five-hour trip or something with the way you're talking." "Lover #4, explain it to her. If I don't come back down here by 2 hours, call for backup." Kitty shouted running up the stairs, taking her gun out of her holster all the while. "'Kay" Cowie said then started to explain, and even Haru and Yuki listened to this. "Kitty's room, it's a dangerous room. Very violent indeed. You see, her room was once a nice, healthy room. But then she was born and moved into it. Now it's as messy as hell and you can barely move while you're in there. I've gotten lost in there, believe me. It wasn't pretty, either, seeing as I had to use the bathroom at the time. But out of nowhere, like out of Kitty's dreams, a disco ball came out of the ceiling and disco music started playing somewhere is the distance, maybe by the door. In the end, the disco light made it so I could see my way, and the music made it possible to tell where the door was. I was saved that day from Grease music. God how much I love that shit now…." "That was such a beautiful and sad story, Cowie!" Ducky said, wiping a tear from her eye. "I find that highly disturbing." Momiji stated, staring at Cowie-Dono like she was high. Oh, wait! She was high, so never mind!

At Kitty's house, 3AM, same morning

Soon, they all got bored making fun of Haru and Yuki about how their makeup looks on them. Next up on the list, stuffing the boy's faces with pizza. Hey, ya never know, maybe they'd be lucky and get the boy's blind or some other jackpot like that! From the upstairs, they heard a gunshot go off. "It looks like she made it to her skittles stash so far. She's doing excellent on time so far!" Cowie said, surprised at the time after looking at the time on the clock above the mantel. Momiji looked scared. "You mean, she's only made it to her closet after an hour! And why did we just hear a gunshot for!" Ducky just shook her head with annoyance. "Because, Momiji, didn't Cowie just tell you! Because her room is deadly and messy. And plus, in the closet is her skittle stash, which obviously means that she has to protect it with her life!" "Ok, I knew she had a stash and protected it pretty good and everything, but why again did we just hear a gunshot for!" Cowie asked, now scared with Momiji. Ducky rolled her eyes. "Because, she has attack dogs and trap doors, and all that good stuff as a shield in front on it. So she obviously has to shoot down all the dogs before she can get to it, no da! Though, I do have to wonder how much on dogs she spends in a year….I bet she's on a first-name base with the seller of them, though…." Shigure was now wide awake, after hearing that Kitty was killing dogs, I mean, come on, he is the dog after all…" "DAMN IT! GET OFF ME; DON'T HUMP ME, YOU IDIOTS! HEEL, MINI-ME, HEEL!" they heard Kitty scream with fear in her voice. Then she ran down the stairs at full speed and behind her was about 20 dogs chasing after her like she was a juicy piece of bacon. She got into the family room and shut the door-just in time. They heard huge thuds against the door, and then some whimpering. Kitty stood there and panted for a minute before speaking, "I wonder if they hate me because my name it Kitty? Oh well, I got the skittles, everyone. We're gonna have some fun using this on the people who are sleeping hehehehehe" she added, taking out a bottle of shaving cream and a feather. Then she saw Shigure, "Oh, hello, welcome to your home for the next couple of days. Or weeks, whatever." Shigure just kinda sat there all tied up and said, "Oh well at least my captors are girls. Teenage girls, for a fact. This is gonna be like a vaction for me…." And he emphasized the teenage part quite a bit………..


	3. Torture and Karaoke

A/N: Kitty is uber happy with where this series is gonna go. I actually don't know if there will be any romance in it, unless it's the one-sided love that the girls have. Maybe I could hypnotize them all or something like that. 'Cause that would be AWESOME! Anyways, the chappie begins right………….NOW!

At Kitty's house, 3:30AM, same morning 

Kitty gave the order to untie Shigure. Because, I mean, if you can't trust a pervert in a house full of teenage girls, what can you trust nowadays? My point exactly. Besides, he was too busy getting high off of skittles with the girls to have done something lecherous at the moment.

Every awake and unbound person chose someone to torture for the moment. Kitty got Haru by popular demand, Ducky got Kyo because she has a plushy of him that she cuddles, squeezes, and sleeps with all night, every night. Cowie got Yuki because she had to, and Momiji got Ayame because she loves the guy. And Shigure got Akito, because he thought that Akito would scream like a little girl, which is probably true.

It started innocently enough with a bottle of shaving cream. When Haru and Yuki saw this, they didn't even bother. It wasn't worth it anymore. Anyways, you start by making the person's nose itch, and have shaving cream in their hands already. That way, by a reflex, they shoot their hands up to stop the itching power of a pink feather. And, wa-la, a classic is born! Of course every guy's hands were preoccupied at the moment with being bounded, so the girls, and Shigure, just shoved it in their mouths. It's quite amusing, actually. Torture process numbah one on the list, completed, check! Next up, was the hot water gig. Put their hands in hot water and wait for the magic to happen. And what do you know, yet another classic! They put their Barney, Blue's Clues, or Dora The Explorer cups underneath the boy toy's hands. Soon afterwards, nature ran its course. Yummy. Torture process numbah dos, dignity lost, completed, check! And for now, the last torture process was to leave the all guys alone in the room with Shigure for thirty minutes. All the conscious boys were fine with it-until they found out that Shigure was gonna be left with some 'erotic adult toys'. Then, the girls were pretty sure that Haru and Yuki were praying that they wouldn't get molested or raped. So of course, they left the room to let Shigure do his 'stuff'.

In the kitchen, they could hear some pretty disturbing shit. Like Yuki saying in a low voice, "That tickles", and Haru saying in a seductive voice, "That hurts…in a good way…" Disturbing, I know. Kitty's, Ducky's, and Cowie's mouths all dropped. "HEY THAT'S WHAT WE SAY!" the three shouted at the same time. Momiji just leaned against one of the kitchen counters and had a look on her face like, 'This isn't the first time I've heard this…' Then all the girls jerked their heads towards the living room. You could hear screams coming from it. If they were from pain or 'pleasure', hopefully the world will never know……

Momiji got really uncomfortable at that moment and then offered something to do that would hopefully drain out that 'noise', "Hey, how about we all do karaoke instead right now? Please?" The three other girls didn't pay Momiji any attention at the moment- they were trying to find out what was really happening inside the living room right now. That's when Momiji got really nervous, "Please can we play it, please?" Still no answer. "PLEASE!" Again, no answer. "PLEASE, GOD, PLEASE! WHY HAS THOU FORSAKEN ME! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH CRULETY FROM YOU!" And with that, Momiji dropped to here knees and stared at the kitchen ceiling. Well, she sure got everyone's attention with that all right! The three girls turned their heads at Momiji, and even Shigure popped his head in through the kitchen door to see what was going on. Ya never know, maybe she just lost a wet T-shirt contest or something. But Shigure would have no such luck today. Maybe tomorrow. Anyways, everyone was staring at Momiji like she forgot to take her Viagra today. (By the way, Viagra isn't purple, it's blue. Levitra is the one that's purple!). "Please?" she asked once more, but this time in a more sane voice. Kitty pondered the thought and then answered, "Sure, why not, the karaoke machine and all its crapola is in the living room, close to where the boys are. I guess we could wake some of them up that way, if their drugs have worn off, anyways. Even though it would ruin the fun of drenching them with freezing cold water and getting to see them with wet shirts on, though……"

At Kitty's house, 4:00AM, same morning

Out of nowhere, snorting skittles must've taken it's affect on Shigure (if it hadn't already, that is), and he started to whip one of the kitchen walls with his ahh, well, whip. Then he got worse saying stuff like, "Kitty likes it fast." And "Cowie likes it big!" or "Ducky, watch it grow!" and "Momiji- I wanna have your Orgy stuck in my head!" (Orgy is a band for those who didn't know, but I'm using it differently here, haha….) "He's ahh, interesting when he's high, isn't he?" Cowie asked. "More like perverted to me." Ducky added. "And he wonders why he can't get a girlfriend for?" Momiji piped in the conversation. "I'll say" Kitty said before turning of the karaoke machine and started to sing, "Hey Shigure, this one goes out to you! It describes your sex-life perfectly!...Pleasure Man, Pleasure Man, He gets pleasure, from his hand, It's long, and very wrong. Pleasure Man, Pleasure Man, he gets pleasure, from his hand! Thank-you and good-night New York!" Kitty shouted before throwing the mic on the floor. The girls clapped and whooped, Haru and Yuki were on the floor, laughing like they just smoked pot for the first time, and Shigure was unaffected by any of this. He just continued to beat the wall to a wooden pulp, if that's even possible. "For being weird," Cowie-Dono directed towards Shigure, "he can sure do things that make me feel great!" Ducky-Dono's eyes lit open and she whispered to Kitty and Momiji, "I think she's running a fever. Except it's the kind of fever that could lead to ahh- having children…" Kitty nodded in agreement and then giggled and said, "That feels good! You know, how you're whispering into my ear…" Ducky smiled with pride while Momiji said under her breath, "God, I really need to get some new friends. Ones that aren't perverts or druggies…" Cowie heard and then went, "Hey! I have the weirdest things that I want to touch! What's so wrong with that!" "Nothing, Cowie, nothing is wrong with that! I too, have things that I want to touch. But sometimes they're just fuzzy things…" Kitty backed Cowie up.

At Kitty's house, 4:30AM, same morning

Kyo and Ayame woke up basically at the same time. Kyo bit threw his gag in two minutes and fifty-seven seconds to be precise. Ayame slithered his way out of his binding and then got his gag off with his hands (obviously). Kyo and Ayame- what a pair. One mean as hell, while the other just wants to do good. So literally, they canceled each other out. But the good news was that Kyo didn't really give a fuck where he was, as long as he was somewhat away from Yuki, and Ayame didn't care either; he just wished Hatori could've been around to join him and Shigure for some 'fun'. Ya, 'fun' my ass. And of course, Ayame untied Yuki and Haru as soon as he was free. Now the only person left to wake up was Akito, which was going to happen very soon……


	4. Charades And A New Guest

A/N: I noticed that I seem to like to update everyday (let's see how long that lasts for!). I even told Cowie-Dono during gym that I wasn't going to update it today, but look how that turned out. And I'm really hyper because I just ate some French chocolate that was made in Sweden, which is strangely odd, but whatever… I hope you enjoy this chappie, and remember Ducky-Dono- you're my SFPISPTG!

At Kitty's house, 5:00AM, same morning

"So," Kitty started to say, "I hope everyone's hungry because I bought some special food for all the Sohma boys!" "That would be lovely, Miss, um…" "First off, I'm married, get it right. That's why I have a ring on my left pointer finger for. And second of all, just call me Kitty." Kitty said (no da!). "Ah, um, ok then..." Yuki finished. "Good, now that that's settled, who wants to see what they got first?"

Silence. "Any takers? Anybody?" Silence again. "Ok, then, it looks like Kyo's gonna go first then." "What the hell! Why do I have to go first for!" Kyo interjected. "Because I said so. Anyways," Kitty takes out a TOPS bag and searches through it, finally reaching what she wanted and pulls it out of the bag, "This is especially for you Kyo, its Meow Mix®! Seafood flavored, no less! My cat loves this shit, so I thought you would too, figuring you are a cat and all!" Kitty says, and then throws the whole 3.15lbs bag at him. (All of these comments are true. My cat really does love Meow Mix®, the flavor he likes is Seafood, and the bag really is 3.15lbs.-I checked-lol!).

Kitty smiled wide and waited for Kyo to thank her. Everyone else in the room (besides Kyo and Kitty), took a few steps back and hoped she wouldn't be killed. Kyo kept staring from the bag to Kitty and back again. Cowie made a suggestion to Kitty, "Hey, Kitty would you like some flowers at your funeral?" Kitty shot an evil glare at Cowie before saying, "Who wants flowers when they're dead? Nobody."

Finally, Kyo made his move for the young kitty-cat. (It gets a WHOLE hell of a lot OCC here). "OMG! Thank-you so much! I love this shit! And you picked just the right flavor, too!" Kitty smiled HUGE (like the Fucillo guy, who, by the way, is REALLY annoying). "Oh, I can warm you up a bowl of milk to go with it! Would you like that?" Kyo smiled, (shocker) and said, "Of course, now just hug me so I can be a cat and enjoy this even more!" "'Kay!" Kitty said and hugged him, getting a big POOF all the meanwhile. Then she went into the kitchen and came back about five minutes later with a bowl of hot milk.

At Kitty's house, 6:00AM, same morning

After everyone got over the initial shock of Kyo actually being nice, they all ate what Kitty bought for them. Shigure got some Bacon Bites®, Haru got organic grass (do they even have that?), Ayame got a dead mouse, and Yuki got some leeks. The girls had coffee to try and keep them awake at least for a little bit longer. Plus, Kitty's parents and sister were vacationing in Las Vegas (but I bet whatever happens there, WILL DEFINITELY NOT stay there), so she had the house to herself. (Her brother went on a road-trip to Mardi Gras with a few friends). The last words her parents said to her were not to have any parties or guests over while they weren't there. Just shows how much Kitty cares for her parent's demands and how big of an attention span she has (it's microscopic!).

But the best part of the girl's short-lived lives was watching Kyo change back into his human form, on the kitchen floor. Yummy. He got dressed in the bathroom can came back out into the living room, where the rest of the group was playing charades with Aktio's body. Shigure had Akito on his lap, trying to make it seem like he was doing something _wrong_. The group kept shouting out answers like "Blowjob!" or "Erection!" and perverted answers along those lines. Until everyone finally gave up. Then Shigure revealed what he was trying to do, "He's being _spanked_, since he's been a _bad_ boy!" Everyone laughed and Ayame went up next.

Ayame was just about to do a hint for his act, when Akito woke up. His hands and mouth were undone for this skit, so he pushed away from Ayame's grasp and slapped him across the face. "Where the hell am I?" Akito asked in a harsh voice. Cowie and Momiji explained, and Akito didn't take it entirely that well. "_What_? I want to go home, where medical attention and Hatori are standing nearby. _Now_." "Um, I don't think I can get you back home right now, but I could get Hatori here for you." Kitty offered. Cowie-Dono got extremely happy, and said, "HATORI! HATORI IS _HOT_! GIVE ME HIM RIGHT NOW!" Kitty got an anime sweat drop on her forehead, and said, "Ohm, sure, why don't you help me out with this then, Cowie?" "OK!" Cowie shouted enthusiastically (holy shit, that's a long word!), and Cowie and Kitty made their way to a bookshelf. Kitty pulled on a book and it opened up to the Fruits Basket world. "Wow, _that's_ real original, Kitty!" Ducky said, dripping sarcasm from every word. Kitty mocked her words and then pulled her and Cowie into the Fruits Basket world with her. Minutes later, they came out

carrying a VERY unconscious Hatori with them.

At Kitty's house, 6:30AM, same morning

"Do you think he will ever wake up?" Shigure asked, while standing over Hatori's body like everyone else. "I don't know; we had to drug him up pretty good to knock him out." Kitty answered. "Ya and you also had to hit him over the head with a table lamp, too, Kitty…" Cowie added in. Kitty sweat dropped while everyone stared at her. "You're not helping, Cowie…." Kitty said in a musical voice. While they waited for Hatori to wake-up from his drugged and abuse enriched slumber, Momiji put in a Matrix DVD and everyone watched. For about 5 minutes, that is, before Cowie had to turn it off because Akito kept interrupting it, while asking what was happening. For usually being a quiet person in general, boy was Akito annoying when it came to confusing movies. You could tell that all the boys couldn't tell what was happening from the constipated looks on their faces, but I mean, come _on_, they at least they took it like men, not complaining to stop it every five seconds and asking what just happened there!

With all the screaming at yelling at everybody at how stupid they were, of _course_ Hatori woke up, no da! He hit the top of a book over Ducky's head for all the Japanese swearing she was doing. "Oh, hello there, Hatori. Nice morning, isn't it?" Momiji asked. "Hn." was the only reply they got from him before Cowie-Dono was draping off his arm. "Hey, hots-stuff, whatcha doin?" Cowie asked, with sexuality coming from every word of her dirty mouth. Momiji, Ducky, and Kitty all had to pry Cowie away from Hatori. "Hey! Whatcha do that for!" Cowie whimpered. Kitty rolled her eyes with annoyance before answering, "Because, I don't want to explain to my parents _where_ and _why _you got pregnant with a twenty-eight year old's child." "HEY! I would NOT have had sex with Hatori!" Cowie defended herself. "SURE you wouldn't have, Cowie! Just like my mother will call me and let me have a party while she's gone!" Kitty said with sarcasm.

Just then the phone ringed. Kitty let it ring twice (so it wouldn't make her look desperate- duh!) before picking it up. "Hi, Kitty speaking, how may I help you?" Short pause. "Yes, everything's fine mother." Longer pause than before. "Really? Are you sure that's ok with you and dad?" Medium-sized pause. Everyone has their eyes on Kitty. "O-K, then, mom, thanks! I love you too, bye." Kitty hangs up phone.

"So what was that about?" Ducky asks. Kitty answers, "My mom called to tell me that I could eat their French cheese that's in the fridge." "That's IT!" Momiji asks? Kitty answers yet again, "Of course not! She said that I'm allowed to have a party while she's gone." "That's kinda creepy." Ducky says creeped-out. Kitty laughs a bit and then says, "So, when you and Hatori have sex now, remember to make him wear a condom!" Cowie was offended, "Hey- I WAS NOT going to have sex with him, anyways! And even if I did, I would already know to bring a condom, I'm not that stupid…." Then she sunk back into the couch and sulked while Momiji, Ducky, and Kitty laughed their small asses off.


	5. Coming Out Of The Closet And Blockbuster

A/N: Ok, I realize that I haven't updated in… 1 month, 1 week, and 2 days (I think). I'm sorry-I just kinda ran out of ideas at the moment. And then I decided to reread my story for some strange reason, and I got inspired to update- Go me! For more fun, and off-beat crap, I got married to Ducky-Dono and Cowie-Dono in March (I think), and I just got married to Sango 4 days ago-YAY! And I hope my Easter-Bunny gets a lot of rest after she just finished up delivering shit-loads of candy and eggs to kids all over the world!

At Kitty's House, 7:00AM, Same Morning (If I'm correct, that is)

"Cowie, can you come out of the closet? We love you, you know!" Kitty said softly, because Cowie locked herself in the closet, still mad at us over the whole Hatori thing. Strangely enough, she locked Hatori in there with her. Not gonna have sex with him my _ass_!

"Promise not to… m-make fun of me a-a-again first!" Cowie said in between suspicious breaths of air. "Fine, whatever, but you're making it hard for us to promise you that when you're locked in there with him!" Ducky squealed (I love that word) from the other room (hey- I don't think they' red be a closet in the family room now do ya? I didn't think so either!)

"Ok, we're coming out of the closet then." Cowie stated rather seriously, not realizing how she just worded that. Kitty started laughing, and even Ducky, who was even in the other room, heard it, and was laughing as well. As Cowie and Hatori came out of the closet, Kitty approached Cowie. In a very reporter-like way, Kitty said, "So, when did you first realize that you were a lesbian?" Cowie arched her eyebrow, "WHAT!" Momiji stood in the background as Ducky answered her question for Kitty, "You said you were quote-'coming out of the closet' and then you walked out of the closet. You brought it on yourself."

"Yea, you did." Kitty slyly said and then got really close Cowie's face, "So, How's it finally feel to be open and free?" Cowie rolled her eyes with disgust and pushed Kitty away, making her fall on her bad wrist. I can't put exactly what I said on here but it kinda goes like- OWWW MOTHER FKER, THAT HURT! SON OF A BIOTCH! Among other profound words as well, but Kitty wants to keep this a now 'K+' ficcy, and if I changed it to a now rated 'M' ficcy, we wouldn't just be swearing in there- it'd be other, more, eh….mature things-and I don't wanna lose Cowie, who wouldn't ever be able to read it with her parents around-lol. Ahem, let's continue the story now, shall we?

Cowie said 'sorry' to Kitty, and helped her up off the floor (That sounds _kinky_!). Now, during all of this, you may be wondering where Akito, Haru, Yuki, Kyo, Ayame, and Shigure are. (Hatori's with us, remember? Good.) They're all with Ducky in the living room doing god-knows-what. So Cowie, Kitty, Momiji, and Hatori all go and see what they're doing. And let me tell you, it's _not_ pretty. Pillow feathers everywhere, furniture turned over and scattered all over the room, the CDs were all broken and shattered (and believe me-that's a lot of CDs that my dad has- over 300 of them).

And that's not all. Haru is on the floor, on top of Yuki, probably trying to rape him and keeps saying, "I'm gonna exhaust you!" in Yuki's ear. Then they're is Ayame, who is trying to get Kyo in one of his dresses that magically appeared from nowhere- and so far, Ayame's winning- he has the pink, poofy dress over Kyo's top body. Surprisingly enough, Akito is just lounging on what's left of the couch, with Ducky, and eating a slice of left-over pizza. Akito being nice? Scary, I know.

Kitty's mouth hung open at the site in front of her. Momiji gave her a pat on the back, and saying, "It could be worse, ya know." Then there was a huge 'CLUNK', and the lights went out.

"OK, that was so not me" Ayame said. "You just had to ask, didn't you, Momiji?" Kitty sighed. Just then, someone came up behind Kitty and whispered seductively in her ear, "I think we need to intermingle soon…" "Ducky I love you too, now can someone please turn the lights back on?" Kitty said, sounding very annoyed at the moment.

There was a click and a "Let there be light" before the lights actually turned on. The sight in front of Momiji's eyes was highly disturbing. Ducky was on Kitty's back, still whispering perverted things into her ear. And to make it worse, Kitty was purring. That's just wrong. "Ok, I've had enough of this, I'm outtie." "Fine, but if you're gonna go, take one of 'em with you. We can't control all of them right now. Bring him back when you're done with him." Ducky sighed sadly.

So Momiji left the brick-speckled house with Ayame in tow.

At Kitty's House, 8:30AM, Same Morning

"That's so sad!" Ducky cried. "I know! We can't find that stupid scrabble game anywhere!" Cowie yelped while looking under the couch for the sixteenth time. But the girl's found a much, _much_ better way to have fun. They used the boys as their personal slaves to clean up the room while they went out to Blockbuster to rent a movie. They told the boys to clean up the room by time they got back, or they weren't going to be eating anything today, and then set off for Blockbuster.

At Blockbuster, 9:00AM, Same Morning

"FINALLY! We're here at last!" Kitty cried out after having to walk for a full 30 minutes. Cowie and Ducky agreed and Cowie inquired, "So what kind of movie are we going to rent?" "Horror!" Kitty sang. Cowie and Ducky just starred at her. "What?" Kitty asked. "We are not getting a horror, movie, Kitty!" Ducky said. "And why not!" Kitty questioned. "Because even if Kitty likes it fast most of the time, you have to take it slow once in awhile." Cowie answered. "Fine. Then what are we going to get?" Kitty asked. Ducky chimed in, "How about we get a chick flick or something to annoy the guys with?" "Sure, but which chick flick shall it be then?" Cowie inquired. "I think How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days will suffice. Plus, that way we can watch someone name a penis Princess Sophia." Kitty requested while chuckling. "Okay then!" Ducky said, and then started to look for the movie, which wasn't hard to find at all. So, Kitty paid for the movie, and they started on their long (ha) journey home.

At Kitty's House, 10:00Am, Same Morning

The door opened, and the girls walked in, looking very tired. They threw their coats anywhere they could find a space in the closet, and made their way to the now-clean living room. "So, you guys picked a good movie for us to watch I hope" Haru assumed. "Yep, you'll love it. We can all watch it right now." Kitty said, making her way over to the TV and popping the DVD into the DVD player (no da!). Then everyone sat down on the couch and started to watch the movie. When the title said How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, the guy's faces dropped immediately. "You're telling me that we cleaned this _whole_ room just to watch this shit!" Kyo barked. "Yep, and you better enjoy it too, you son a ma bitch!" Kitty bellowed before getting more comfortable in her seat-which was between Ducky and Haru. Boy, _this_ was going to be one hell of a long day…

A/N: I'm sorry that it was short and sucky, but I had to make it quick- I wanna go outside while it's still warm out! Please make me one happy kitty by pressing that little purple button done at the bottom of the screen! Remember, A review a day keeps the doctors away!

I love you all,

XOXO,

Kitty-Chan


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